wrigley field is MILF paradise
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Semen is not good for contacts.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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