so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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