I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
