You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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