I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
