We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
