At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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