i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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