If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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