I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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