i just google imaged poop.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
