Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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