Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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