So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize