you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
