On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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