i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
