Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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