i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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