p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
