If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
