I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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