You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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