Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
