Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just tell him i said nine months
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
