My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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