The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
