it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
