sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
