I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
