Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
