you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
