your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
