The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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