who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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