Define "chronic" masturbator.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
