I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
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No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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