he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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