just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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