hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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