Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
