You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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