I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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