wrigley field is MILF paradise
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I would ride that face into the sunset
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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