just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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