Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You are a genius and a whore.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
