ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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