I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
