Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
