Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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