You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
