I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
