All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
