we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
organizing the empties. That sober.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
