my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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