I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
