Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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