The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
