i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
