I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
